Why the Desire to be “Beautiful” is Powerful
Waiting. Vulnerable. Looking for their loved one. Who accepts them. Where they belong.
That was the scene when I drove up to the baggage claim at the Minneapolis airport. I went to pick up my husband, but what I got was a reminder of our common humanity. We are all pretty vulnerable in the end. We are all looking for a place to belong, for someone to accept us as we are. I think that’s one of our deepest human needs and desires.
As I watched those airport “waiters” stand ready, necks craning and eyes squinting for their pick-up, I also thought about being a woman in the world. I thought about how we as women seek a sense of belonging and acceptance and how so much of that acceptance is predicated on our appearance, our beauty. I also thought about how being “beautiful” has become so fickle, so narrow. Leaving so many women striving, trying, waiting for the magic bullet. Thin enough. Toned enough. Youthful enough. To essentially feel loveable. Accepted.
It made me feel sad for all of the little girls and the women who have ever felt unlovable or undesirable because they didn’t feel beautiful for whatever reason. Somehow missing the mark of what is considered “beautiful.” It also made me angry at all of the marketing campaigns and ads designed to make us feel that we have to do something or buy something to be beautiful enough. We have to earn it and strive for it. We have to do something to be loved and accepted.
You see, this game of beauty is a pretty pivotal one. It’s not just about having the perfect eyebrows or the perfect abs, it actually goes to the core of our humanity. Our sense of worth. Are we as women worthy of love? Are we worthy of belonging? Essentially, is someone coming to pick us up from the airport? Are we beautiful enough to belong?
The whole topic of worth and acceptance got me thinking about my friend Micah. Micah Witham happens to be a pastor at a church called Awaken Community, so he knows a few things about the Bible’s original languages. Months ago Micah told me something about the Garden of Eden I never knew before. Apparently in Hebrew, the word “Eden” is translated “delight.” As in, according to the Biblical narrative humanity was created in the Garden of Delight.
So, literally humanity originated from a place of delight. God delighting in us. Us delighting in Him, in the creation, in our relationships with one another. And, so, what if this is still very true? As in, we are still delighted in by our Creator and we are invited to delight in Him, in his creation, and delight in one another.
Micah said it this way: “Beauty and delight is all around us because God is all around us and this is the character of the divine. It is not something we can earn or work for.”
I never really thought about the whole idea of “delight” or what on earth it means to delight in someone until I had nieces and nephews.
I was outside the hospital room when I heard my niece cry for the first time. That was the closest I ever came to the beginning of life. Human existence suddenly emerged from seemingly nowhere and I was changed. The miracle of a new life, growing, developing, learning.
Since, then I have watched my niece grow. I have stood by in love and adoration as I watch the unfurling of her unique way of being in the world, with her own glory, wonder, and beauty. As you watch something so sacred unfold and grow and find their stride and their identity you can’t help but notice that you are on Holy ground.
Each new word, each new milestone, is worthy of celebration. There is simply no other word, no other expression but delight.
So, what if Micah is right? What if we have been created not only in the image of a God who delights, but in a God who delights over us. As in, the overflow of joy and wonder that I experience with my nieces and nephews is only the smallest fraction of delight that God has in me. In you.
Don’t get me wrong I think we still have a very basic need for belonging among friends and family. I think that is how we have been created. That’s why places like airports can be such a beautiful places, witnessing things like homecomings and very happy reunions.
However, what if our sense of acceptance as women, both for ourselves and for others, weren’t based on a cultural standard of beauty? What if our physique or complexion or our aesthetic “perfection” weren’t the basis of our feeling worthy of love and belonging? Instead, wouldn’t marketers and sales executives be so frustrated if we awakened to the reality that we were created in delight, that we are delighted in at this moment, and that we have been delighted over all along?
If we really sat with that reality, allowing it to saturate our psyche and soul, I think we may begin to sense the depth of our innate beauty. And if we started viewing ourselves in that way, from that eternal perspective, we might realize that as we relate to ourselves and as we relate to one another, we are very much on Holy ground.
Are you tired of being sold a broken brand of beauty?
The brand of beauty we are so often sold as women is way too small. It divides and dis-integrates us. I am on a mission to expand and re-discover beauty, authentic beauty. I believe beauty is the life of God at work in us and among us. Will you join me in exploring that kind of beauty?
Sign up and follow along on my journey. Let’s re-define beauty. Together.