Meet Susan
Meet Susan
Sometimes the days that start out so ordinarily turn out to be so very sacred. That was the case the day I met with Susan.
Allow me to introduce Susan Wynia. Wife, mom, grandma, faithful post-surgery nurse at Unity Hospital, breast cancer survivor, and a dear friend of mine. She is also a warrior. Not the Braveheart, weapon-touting type, but the brave and persevering type who daily chooses to lead with love and hope and joy. Her smile, engaged presence, and loving gaze are gifts she gives generously to all who meet her. Those are the gifts she gave me that rainy Wednesday we met at her favorite neighborhood cafe, Moose and Sadie’s, where Susan is known by name. That day we talked about her current battle with ovarian cancer, but mostly we talked about how Susan sees beauty in the world. I also so vividly saw the tremendous beauty Susan brings into the world.
The Interview
Melissa: How do you define beauty?
Susan: I think it’s a lot different than what the world defines. I watch commercials and it just seems so artificial. You know, it’s just lies all over the place. If you aren’t really thinking about, “oh, this really is not true” or “this is not real,” I think you really get twisted in your thinking about what you should look like or feel like or be buying.
Melissa: Where do you see beauty in the world?
Susan: Definitely creation. I love sitting in my chair in the morning and hearing the birds chirping and looking at the sky lighting up and just having quiet moments. I love that. And then I think there’s beauty in other people. Like when I have some of my harder moments and Becca [Susan’s daughter] comes through the door, that’s beauty. Huge beauty. And Valentina [Susan’s granddaughter]…And I see beauty in you girls’ relationships together. How you love and support each other. You go beneath that superficial friendship and you really know each other and what to pray for for each other. To me that’s a beautiful thing, relationships that are meaningful. I think too when you see somebody selflessly helping someone else. You just see God in that.
Melissa: Please tell us about the brokenness you are experiencing in life or brokenness that you have experienced.
Susan: What I am going through now is a bump in the road and it’s not what I would choose but eventually you just adapt and try to make each day as good as you can. But I think the hardest challenges have been relational things in life. Like when somebody misunderstands you or accuses you. Or if I feel like there’s distance, that’s hard on me. So, I think sometimes relational things are the hardest…Yeah, I think the loneliness. You know I am going through a challenge but everyone’s got challenges and I think the loneliness and the relational things are almost harder than anything else that we go through it seems like to me. And then if you are going through that without having a relationship with God, that’s really tough.
Melissa: That’s interesting, physical challenges can be so hard, but the thing that you see most challenging is in relational isolation and brokenness, how deeply that hits us…
Susan: …In the spirit. Yeah, in the body if there’s pain, you’ve got to get that under control, but once you’re through that…Yeah, I think the spirit of a person is what undergoes or feels the most pain probably.
Other things of beauty are people who minister to you during that time. I’ve had so many people reach out to me, I just feel spoiled. And prayer. And so I’d say in relationships it’s been a tremendous time. Viktor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, talks about how a lot of people live in an existential vacuum, where they have everything and life is going great but they just feel this emptiness. Whereas someone who’s in San Quentin, who has murdered somebody but has come to know the Lord, and turned their life around and have meaning in their life now, they actually have more to live for than the person who has everything but has no meaning in it.
Melissa: Yes.
Susan: So, even though this has been a hard time, it’s probably been one of the most meaningful times. And I’ve kind of decided too, whatever God’s plan is, however many years or days that I have, I want to live them fully and not be worrying about down the road, which I’ve had my moments when I’ve done that. Something that I read this morning is how our breath is God’s breath and, so, as long as God gives me breath I want to use it for good and there’s purpose in it. So, until he says I’m done there’s a reason to be here and there’s meaning. And his vision is much larger than mine, ours. You learn a lot during times like this. All the books you read and the Word you read and the Scriptures that you know, it’s times like this you have to decide how well you know them or they become more real to you with practice.
I’ve also thought how Jesus lived thirty-three years and his most meaningful, active, purposeful years were three years. And, so, He followed what the Father wanted for him and accomplished what He came to do in a short amount of time. And, so, I feel I’ve lived sixty-four years, I’ve had an amazing life. I’ve had a few ups and downs, but so has everybody else. So, anything God gives me is a gift, so who am I to say I deserve more or I shouldn’t have to go through anything hard. There are always things everyday that are gifts if you are aware of them.
Yeah, I’ve seen a lot of beauty throughout this whole process. Probably mostly, again, relational. And then, I remember when I went through cancer the first time, it’s like you realize the greatest things in life are having a good appetite, going able to go out for lunch with friends, taking a walk, enjoying the sunshine, flowers; things like that. Things we take for granted a lot of times.
I’ve also always been one for balance in life. I don’t really like working full time. I don’t need that much money. I don’t want to spend all my time in the basement at work. I love my job in moderation. So, I’ve always been one for balance in life…And relationships take time too.
Melissa: My next question is, where do you see beauty in the midst of brokenness? You kind of answered that. I don’t know if you want to say more on that. Another way to say it I think is to use “God” interchangeably with “beauty.” So, I’m curious if you’d answer that question the same or differently, if that changes the question a little bit or not. In the brokenness you’ve been talking about, where you have seen God in the midst of it?
Susan: Well, I read a book by John Eldredge called All Things New, about how God is going to make all things new. And how we think about heaven as far away but it’s actually on this earth and God’s going to restore everything to what he created it to be to begin with. And every weakness that we feel and every brokenness in this broken world that we’re in, he’s going to redeem all of that. And, so, I think we see the beauty of God in how he does that already, in how God is present and at work in the midst of the brokenness. And that should give us hope because it’s not going to be perfect here ever, but it’s not going to be like this all the time.
And I just pray that what I’m going through would be a light somehow to others and be helpful to others. Yeah, I just think God becomes more near and dear in hard times. I remember when I went through breast cancer and I was sick with a bad cold too. I remember being on the couch and just feeling God’s presence; thinking, I just want to live every moment to the fullest because we don’t know how many moments we have.
I also think the encouragement we get from others brings out our beauty. Like you could, in your wrong or twisted thinking, be thinking poorly about yourself or how God made you and forgetting that we’re made in the image of God and how much he loves us. But I think when we’re together; we remind each other of truth. I think that’s why God wants us to have community because we need each other to maybe even understand who we are and who he is. Because you hear the Triune God is fellowship and when I am not thinking right, someone could point out to me where I’m not thinking right. I just think that encouragement is a huge part of bringing out our beauty.
Melissa: Yes, that’s so good. I am also wondering if you experienced any particular lies about beauty?
Susan: It’s kind of interesting, I’ve always for some reason struggled with self-doubt or feeling like you’re not as good as you should be in the workplace or whatever. I’ve struggled with that a lot throughout my life. But I feel like now, I don’t know if it’s because of the prayers from everyone or what but I just feel like, I just know God loves me, that I’m uniquely made, and that the enemy just lies to us so much. We have to be so alert to truth. We have to be in the Word constantly to know what truth is. And I think true beauty is seeing ourselves the way God sees us and who he made us to be. Yeah, we’re broken but he made us to be whole and when we walk in the truth of who he says we are, we realize our true beauty, who we really are.
Melissa: Have you had experiences that have helped to transform your view of beauty?
Susan: Honestly, the things that touch me the most are when I see somebody helping someone who can’t help themselves. When you see that, you know that there’s a God. Generosity, kindness, shown to others, that shows God’s character.
Photo credit: Rebecca Wynia